Tuesday, September 30, 2003

The Clash Part II

I want to know who has sold out The Clash to satan? Now I've heard the lyrics to Police on my Back on the USA channel to promote Law and Order: SVU. I like that show but to use The Clash as a promotional tool goes against everything The Clash stood for. To make it worse I'm bringing back suppressed memories of London Calling being used on a car commercial and Should I Stay or Should I Go being used on a Smirnoff Ice radio ad. The last two were made while Joe Strummer was alive. Bring me the head of who is responsible.
Whoppi Goldberg Is The Anti-Christ!

Despite claiming to be a comedian, she has never made a funny movie (anyone for Sister Act 4?) and I have never seen her do stand up. She has been involved in god awful begathons with Steve Martin and Billy Crystal (two other non-funny, old men). She partook in a minstral act with notorious rug-wearer Ted Danson (toupees are only worn by sub-humans like Tony Curtis and Burt Reynolds). Then, she revived the lame-o Hollywood Squares.

If this wasn't damning enough, Whoopi now has some sort of sitcom. Most sitcoms are written by Satan himself. NBC has seen fit to advertise this disaster on buses. Yesterday, I saw the ad which features the slogan "New Comedy...No Apologies". No Apologies? Are they kidding? NBC had better apologize. They have foistered the Anti-Christ upon an unsuspecting America.
I'll make this one short. Whoever allowed The Clash's "London Calling" to be played as a commercial for some teen feel good chick flick is obviously in league with satan. Joe Strummer must be rolling in his grave.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Since there was a previous post about Arnold Schwarzenegger, I thought I would post a parody movie of his appearance on "The Tonight Show."


We're talking about the guy that was in Hercules In New York, running for Governor of California. The parody flash movie for some reason seems closer to reality than what is going on in California.
Today I bring to the table a new concept to the identification evil: The Distributed Antichrist. Having just one person be the antichrist seems a bit predictable to me; also, would the forces of evil be so stupid as to put all their eggs in one basket? The proliferation of people who are slightly evil seems to dispute this fact.

We all know who they are. The ones who put American flag stickers on their SUV's on Sept. 12, 2001, once the stores were all open. The ones who buy Disney DVDs to indoctrinate their children. The ones who park in the handicapped space outside the drycleaners, justified because they're 'only going in for a minute'. (And who never seem to get ticketed for it, when I get tickets for fuckin' riding my bike without a helmet.) Middle management. These slightly evil people are in fact parts of a more monstrous whole.

Distributing the antichrist amongst these individuals was a stroke of genius by the Infernal powers: we have to be able to both find and slay ALL of them in order to avert the dominion of true evil over the world. And that ain't easy, kids. It takes constant and unwavering vigilance, a keen eye, and the guts to pull the trigger, and a dedicated cadre of hunters to do it. But this is no reason to shirk from the task. Nooooooo, sir. If you see someone on a cellphone, driving an SUV erratically down the highway, don't yell "FUCKER!" at them. Shoot them. In the head. Preferably with a high caliber firearm, but just about anything lethal will do. Keep an eye out for evil in your neighborhood, city, and state, and be willing to stamp it out. Just remember - it wants to do the same to you.

Monday, September 22, 2003

Tom Peters Must Be Sent Back To Hell

I hate consultants. They are the most useless, overpaid prostitutes in the world. They sell snake oil to companies, ruin them and move on to the next town. In the Old West, these guys would have had shot guns against their necks. In modern America, they receive millions of dollars. They draw suckers to Holiday Inn conference rooms to spend their last fifty dollars in the pathetic hope that they'll turn their dry cleaning shop around with this knowledge from the wizard.

The truly evil consultants become authors. That's where the big bucks come in. The suckers can buy the books, listen to the tape in their cars and pay $100 to see their guru in a basketball arena. In fact, most pro basketball coaches eventually become consultants. Instead of learning real skills, the suckers learn words like paradigm which they can use to impress their barbers.

However, there is one consultant who is the worst of a very bad lot. It is Tom Peters. This guy is The Anti-Christ. Tom has been around a long time. He started by selling excellence to America back in the eighties; now, Tom babbles pseudo-technospeak while shilling for a company called Sybase. I've heard his commercials for this company at least a dozen times and I have no idea what the scumbag is talking about.

This shitbag's website features something worthy of The Beast right at the top:

"You can smell caring [engagement, respect] from a mile away."
-seminar participant London

Smell caring? What is this bastard doing to these idiots? It is obviously the work of Satan. What human would talk this way normally?

Then, there is an interview with Tom, himself, on the site. Check out this crap:

" Q:Let's talk about 9/11 and al Qaeda. In your Introduction, you write: "On September 11, 2001, a tiny band of Internet-savvy fundamentalists humbled the world's only superpower. ... The concept of the virtual organization is essential to understanding how new business works. ... The new terrorists have proved to be masters of that concept." Did you have any hesitancy about starting out that way? Are you worried that people will get the wrong idea--that you are, in effect, glamorizing terrorism by likening it to business?

TOM PETERS: I grew up near Annapolis, Maryland. I was in the Navy for four years, two of them in Vietnam. The Naval Academy was right next door to me. My first actual job, at the age of 13, was as a tour guide for something called Historic Annapolis. One stop on that tour was the basement of the famous chapel at the U.S. Naval Academy where John Paul Jones, the father of the American Navy, is buried in a crypt. If I had a boyhood hero, it wasn't Washington, it was John Paul Jones, whose ship the Bonhomme Richard nailed the British Serapis.

Evan Thomas, a senior editor at Newsweek, just wrote a magnificent biography of John Paul Jones. It turns out that long before that famous battle, John Paul Jones was the only American who was attacking the Brits. He was doing it from a base in France. He would steal up the English coast, burn houses, steal silver. And John Paul Jones was called by the British, not a "soldier," but a "terrorist"--because he was putting the fear of God into the British, which was one of the main reasons they ended up deciding to stop the war.

Underarmed, underfunded fundamentalists--and what else were Americans in 1776 but fundamentalists?--have always chosen tactics that could be called terror tactics. Now, Jones did it for a damn good reason, and I love him dearly. Al Qaeda did it for the most miserable reasons ever heard of. In each case, it's the wily little enemy who doesn't have the resources, but has a better idea and a certain swiftness. And, leaving aside issues of war and death, what else would you call Bill Gates' attack on IBM, or Steve Jobs' attack on IBM, or Sam Walton's attack on Sears?

In a way, the last 100 years have been anomalous. The big German power versus the big French and the big British power, in World War I. The big German power versus the Russians and the Americans and the British, in World War II. But history, I think, is much more about wily, underarmed opponents surprising the incumbent, regnant power.

Q: Are you saying that we've gone through a similarly anomalous period of stability in the business sphere as well?

TOM PETERS: If you go back far enough, yes. Business schools thought they had an absolute bead on eternal best practices. Following World War II, and to some extent even before World War II, American corporations were preeminent on the planet. They formed a solid, established behemoth. Then, almost all at once, the whole damn thing began to unravel. Today, we think of Honda as a monster company. Honda wasn't even started until after World War II. And at the time that Honda took on the United States--first with the little motorbikes, then with cars--it was a pipsqueak."

Jesus, everything I learned about business I learned from Mohammed Atta. Oh, and those Big Germans in WWII! What a big conglomerate that was!

Steve Jobs? Sam Walton? His business examples prove Anti-Christ Peters is stuck in the 80s.

He ought to be sent back.

Friday, September 19, 2003

Dr. James Houran of The Southern Illinois University School of Medicine is The Anti - Christ

The Good Doctor has I'm sure wasted countless hours identifying a new psychiatric disorder known as Celebrity Worship Syndrome - a fascination with celebrities that can become an addiction. Houran, author of Hauntings and Poltergeists: Multidisciplinary Perspectives, whose areas of specialty are abnormal psychology and delusional thinking - including his own, has now coined a name for our obsessions with Jen and Ben.

"Celebrity fans are significantly likelier to suffer from anxiety, depression and social dysfunction than non-worshippers", so sayeth The Good Doctor. I mean who wouldn't have anxiety these days? What with the final season of Friends airing, Sidney from Alias waking up from a 2 year coma and Buffy off the air, I can bearly sleep at night. I get ulcers just writing about it. It's times like this I wish A Current Affair had never been cancelled.

Mr. Houran, and company have developed a Sliding Obsession Scale:
Entertainment-Social - You just like passing the time talking about who'll win an Emmy, Grammy, etc.

Intense-Personal - You think that Justin Timberlake REALLY meant it when he signed"love you" on that picture for you. Yeah you know the one - you waited in line behind all those screaming 10 year olds to get it.

Borderline-Pathological - You believe that a member of New Kids On The Block will have a hit album, and you'll cut anyone who thinks differently.
Maybe The Good Doctor is pulling the greatest Celebrity Obsession Prank by getting us obsessed by the obsession of celebrity obsession. (Pretty sneaky Sis!). Or maybe he just wants to be a celebrity himself, hence research about celebrities. I saw him on The Today Show yesterday and who knows what else he has been on, pedaling this crap.
"Just worshipping a celebrity does not make you dysfunctional. But it does put you at risk of being so."
- James Houran
That would include Mr. Houran too I suspect.

BTW - Read this angry little exchange about The Good Doctor: Re: Validating The Ramey Memo - Rudiak

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Sorry to intrude. I'm not one of those people who likes starting a fight at someone else's party then leaving - but I feel I've got to warn you.

A little distance sometimes lends clarity to a man's vision and I can't stand by and let the world sleepwalk to destruction. We in Europe lost what little power we had to stop him many years ago. It's now down to the good voters of California to save us all.

Of course I'm talking about Arnold. Cuddly Arnie. Notice the ‘war’ hidden in Schwarzenegger? Maybe now you will. And remember.

For this is one of the most devious and dangerous men alive today - a man for whom even the title ‘Mr Universe’ was not enough. Not even five times. Limited ambition, you see, is not his thing.

He always knew he was special. He even served an apprenticeship as a carpenter such was his feeling of exceptional vocation. But that was before the steroids ate into his brain and he was pulled inexorably into a world of darkness and destruction, and the quest for the ultimate power, the ultimate celebrity as The Man Who Fried The World.

He's not over subtle about it. Any man who can kill 400 plus people in 13 movies is not holding his cards too close to his baby oiled chest now is he? And the titles? True Lies, Terminator, Judgement Day. Any pattern there?

He has now accumulated money, patrician status and the trust of America's young.

Nearly there and still noone suspects.

His weakness, however, is lack of originality and this gives us our best chance to thwart him. The trail from bad films to Govenorship of California to White House is well trodden, nearly as deep and wide as the path to the door of that cabin with the scarlet lamp where the tramp bloke used to live. Just beyond, in that White House, lies the ultimate prize. It's past the cigar moistening suite - that little Red Button, the one that in his testosterone soaked dreams is marked ‘Be Remembered’.

“Oh but he'll never be President, he wasn't born in the US!” I hear you cry. Remember this is a man who beat Lou Ferrigno - the Incredible Hulk himself - in a body building contest by hiding the green one's favourite T-shirt. He knows how to fight dirty. Laws, even constitutions can be changed. Or bent just enough, if you have the will or the strength. He has plans.

His stated aims include ‘reforming the political system’ (para 3). Right. His words not mine. That is so scary that I would type shaky letters if I could.

Y'all will have to come up with a law to disqualify long term steroid abusers and semi-humans from the White House too if you want to collect your pensions.

Stop him. Stop him now. Before it's too late. And preferably before he makes any more films like Kindergarten Cop.

I give you The Anti Christ = Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Dr. Phil is the anti-christ

I'm watching Dr. Phil on tv. Not because i want to. Not because i feel as though i will magically become a better person from the soothing music and the cruel honestly, but because I feel it makes me feel better about myself. This man has started "the most extreme weight-loss challenge" or something like that. From what i can understand Dr. Phil has convinced thousands of fat Americans to tape themselves and apply for this challenge. As if you have to be really totally fucked before you're worthy of getting professional help.

But really i can see right through this. This program isn't for the fat people. Its not to help fat people. Well not actually help them where they need the help. This program is to feed off the fat people of America. This is just going to become a way for fat people to cheer for someone else. Live their shitty lives through other people. That's about the most evil thing someone can do.

This is really only a problem because people are stupid. People can't help themselves. They need help to lose weight. Which i agree with. There are a lot of people that need to lose some weight. But you lose weight by actually doing something. Getting off your fat ass. Putting the fucking fork down. Walking the fucking stairs. We don't need to start a fucking 3 ring circus on tv. We don't need to broadcast this to the world. Dr. Phil does. Dr. Phil needs a new summer cottage. So lets all make stupid little videos of ourselves and send them to a man we really don't know.

Dr. Phil is the anti-christ because he's feeding off the weakness of the weak. Those with little self confidence don't need to be paraded on tv to make other fat people feel better about themselves. They need someone show them that they are worthy of fighting for. Their close friends need to step up and do something.

So stop sending tapes to Dr. Phil. Just start following the food guide to healthy living. Its that simple. But it takes time. No one seems to understand that.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Vince McMahon is the mind behind the World Wrestling Federation. He came up with the great idea that large men should bodywax themselves and then run around a ring, throwing punches at each other that miss by three feet.

Why did Vince come up with this idea? Well, actually (except for the bodywax stuff) he didn't. There have been wrestling leagues for years. Vince wanted to take wrestling to new levels.

One day he thought to himself, people need to appreciate the acting skills of Hulk Hogan.

So Hulk Hogan started making movies and all was good in the WWF.

Then one day Vince found out that all those vitamins Hulk Hogan told the little hulksters he took to make him big and strong were actually steroids. Hulk then opened his hulkamaniac mouth to the government about steroid use in the WWF.

Vince then thought to himself, I bet people would like to see Jay Leno kick Hulk's ass.

Then all was bad in the WWF

Then things got good again with the Rock.

Then Vince decided, people want to see football with players not good enough to be in the NFL. He capped his decision with having Governor Jesse Ventura do color commentary during games. Vince thought politics and bad football was a winning combination.

Vince was wrong. Oh, was he wrong.

The XFL folded faster than a carnival leaving town. Vince was mocked. Vince's ego couldn't deal with being mocked. So he did what any grown man would do. He became a Vegas lounge singer.

For awhile things were good in Las Vegas. However, Vince got restless and he couldn't stand the thought of being in the same town as Celine Dion. So he did what any middle-aged CEO would do, he went into the ring and started beating up on his employees.

Things were good again.
Hey, guys - I didn't mean you should really stop posting!!

Anyway, my next nomination goes to that fat piece of shit Cruz Bustamonte. Although I find AHNOLD running for governer a bit absurd, it can never approach the absurdity of this asshole wanting to give illegal aliens a drivers license. I'm not going to take credit for this next statement, but I picked it up in something I read and I think it just about says it all. This fat bastard's "transparent bid to hold his job by allowing illegal immigrants to get driver's licenses must recognize what a wonderful thing this will be for all of us. We can all go down and get second licenses, telling the DMV we are illegals from Canada or something. Think how handy that second license will be when stopped by the boys in blue." I'm sure that you all are aware that almost all the 19 9/11 hijackers held illegally-obtained US drivers licenses. What is this fucking idiot thinking? I guess it's ok to compromise national security along as it benefits him personally. If he gets one vote in California, it will be one too much.

Friday, September 12, 2003

The True Undisputed Anti-Christ
Osama bin Laden is the true anti-christ - saying anything more would be moot.

I live in NY, although not in the city, but very close relatives of mine live extremely close (5 blocks) to the WTC. I lived there before the towers were built, and participated with my neighbors in all of the festivities when the towers were finally opened. I worked on the 97th floor of 1 WTC for 5 years - long before the attack. What a sense of pride we New Yorkers had over those towers. They belonged to us. They became a symbol of New York. They were the tallest, the center of international commerce, but more importantly to us, changed the complexion of the entire neighborhood.

I was out of town when the planes hit. I watched it on TV and sobbed. I called my relatives to see if they were ok, and thankfully they were. I thought of many of my friends, not many who's jobs were actually located in the towers, but who conducted business there frequently and who might have been in there at any time.

And just when I thought I had sobbed as hard as I could, I watched the first tower crumble. And I sobbed harder than I had ever sobbed in my life, not only for my friends, but for everyone in those buildings and their families. I watched and envisioned what could be going on in the minds of all of those people. And I cried, and screamed, and hugged people who I barely knew who were watching the tv with me. I look back on it and I can't imagine how, but sobbing got worst with every buiding that fell. That night, my best friend and I watched the news and cried together on the phone all night (actually, for several nights).

One of the most horrifying things I have ever experienced was driving through New Jersey toward New York and searching for the
towers. This is what you always did on your way back to New York. Once you saw the towers, you knew you were almost home. It's funny how your mind plays tricks on you - for a split second I though if I looked hard enough, I could see them and it would all turn out to be a bad dream. What I saw from across the river was smoke, fire and destruction everywhere. I thought to myself, this is what hell must look like - this is what fire and brimstone must be.

I never went down to ground zero to see the destruction. I don't fault those who did (except those pieces of shit who set up shop there to sell "souvenirs") because I know that some people actually had to see it to believe it. To me, the reality of seeing it would have been just overwhelming. This was my neighborhood, I grew up here. I worked in those towers, my loved ones live near there - its all way to real for me, and I would rather try to fool my psyche into thinking it's all on tv.

I regularly drive down toward the towers to get to the Brooklyn Bridge, but since the terrorist attack I look away everytime I go by. The first time I did this after 9/11, I kept wondering where the blinding light was coming from until I realized that the sun was now shining from where those two 110 story buildings had been previously been blocking it. I t was slightly reminiscent of when the sun used to shine there while the towers were being built. But this was a very different kind of light. It was as if it was saying "you don't have to look here if you don't want to, just never forget."

And everytime I pass there, I look at that light, and say a prayer for all of those who lost their lives, the firefighters, the cops, the rescuers, the Port Authority workers, the civilians and all of their families, and I vow that no matter what happens for the rest of my life, I will never, never forget.

Sorry Chris, but there never has to be another post on this site - unfortunately, I know my nomination has the title won hands down.

Thursday, September 11, 2003

Proof That The Anti-Christ Does Exist:
"Beyonce's A$" has been one of The Top Search Engine Phrases from over a month now...

Portishead has not put out a an album in a ridiculus amount of years...

Joi and Raphael Saadiq were dropped from their labels...

REM is played on Classic Rock stations (Though I
am glad that they paid tribute to Warren Zevon)...

De La Soul, The Roots and Talib Kweli are still considered underground hip-hop...

I can't find re-runs of Get A Life anywhere in Atlanta...

The amazing movie Shaolin Soccer was played on far less screens than the horrible The Tuxedo

Malcolm & Eddie are in syndication...What next, Homeboys in Outer Space

Dr. Phil
is the new Iyanla Vanzant (More on Why Dr. Phil is actually The Anti Christ later)...

In the next 30 days, Micky Dolenz, Billy Bob Thorntonand Carrot Top are all performing in Atlanta.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Bob Saget is a good candidate for being the Anti-Christ. Any man whose real name is Robbit Saget Krunch-Miace has been spawned by Satan in the fire pits of hell.

Saget is known to most for being the TV dad to the Olsen Twins. Those two money-grubbing Lolitas that sell horribly tacky merchandise to preteen girls.

Mr. Saget has distinguished himself as an actor in such movies as Girl Buys Soup While Woman Weds Ape. Men on death row should not have to be forced to watch this movie.

What is even worse is that Saget (through his wickedness) has made people write bad poems about him and publish them on the internet. There is nothing more evil then bad internet poetry.
Dominic Chianese Is The Anti-Christ

Chianese, who plays Uncle Kingfish on the Italian-American version of Amos and Andy, looks like a non-human. Check out the "I just had a fifth of Jack Daniels" eyes and the "Feed me babyfood 'cause I can't chew" mouth. And, this old geezer is still walking around semi-erect! Also, notice the red skin and large pointy ears.
Finally, he has an evil desire to sell his lousy cds on QVC. Does he really think that most of America wants to hear a never-was actor, who got lucky in his seventies, belt out songs that others did much better? Does this fucking idiot think that the airwaves are a goddamn karaoke bar? Could anything be more beastlike? Chianese might as well have 666 on his forehead.

Monday, September 08, 2003

Neil Diamond is the anti christ. He is a Jewish man who makes horrible Christmas records and dressess like Tom Jones. My pal Discothekid told me that the Diamond Man looks like a figure skater on the cover of the album Hot August Night 2. No man should walk around dressed like a figure skater.

Diamond's most evil deed may well be his movie "The Jazz Singer." He acting was so bad that he won a Razzie Award (for worst actor) for his efforts. Never was an award so worthy of an actor.

I still shake my head in disgust everytime I hear this heterosexual man sing, "You don't bring me flowers."
Blogger Is The Anti-Christ

I can't get this goddamn page to show all the freakin' posts. This is in addition to Blogger losing posts. I don't know what is happening, but it must be the work of The Beast.

The Anti-Christ works for Phillip Morris USA, Inc.

I don't know exactly who it is there, but I do know that The Anti-Christ works for Phillip Morris USA, Inc.. Don't jump to conclusions about why I believe that The Anti Christ works at Philip Morris USA. As someone who believes that everyone has the right to live their life any way that they see fit, The Anti Christ works at Phillip Morris, not because they make cigarettes (Though making a cigarette called Player is a little suspect). It's because they make it so you can't enjoy a cigarette in peace

So it's Sunday morning. I'm hung over (most of you all were probably hung over too) and I decide to take part in my regular Sunday Morning Sport - yelling at the political talk shows, while flipping from channel to channel. I get up reach for the remote and a Camel Special Light (ThankYou RJ Reynolds). At exactly 11.00 AM EST, as I begin to flip from station to station, Phillip Morris took over all the major broadcasting networks. I Thought that my remote was broke, as I flipped from ABC, to NBC, to CBS (CBS last even on a Sunday morning in my book) and all I see is Phillip Morris Commercials. Ads for Phillip Morris touting "Information about Philip Morris USA, its products, serious health effects of cigarette smoking, responsible marketing and its policies and practices" were on every station at the same time. As if they actually care about my health.. My A$!. I hate to sound like John Stossel...but Give Me a Break (and not the Nel Carter kind)! I mean what do they think that they are going to accomplish by hijacking the TV to put that crap on. Somebody very evil must work there.

So in parting...Here's To RJ Reynolds Tobacco Company for making an addictively good cigarette, and letting me burn a hole in my lungs in peace.

Sunday, September 07, 2003


Before I get any backlash, just want you all to know that I am not generalizing, I am talking about a specific group of techies at work. The information technology morons I work with are definately the Anti-Christ. I, as well as many others, have been forced to deal with these morons for years. Now, believe me, I am no Jeffrey Parson, but on several occasions, I have had to tell them what to do to fix my machine (sort of like Stevie Wonder giving you a driving lesson). The only reason I conceal my disdain for them is because they hold the key to the universe, yes, I'm talking about the almighty administrator's password (I guess all hell would break loose if we allowed everyone to set the time on their computer on their own).

There are two types of anti-christ who work in this department:

(1) There is a group who thinks that they're Michael Dell and that every computer the give out to the staff is coming directly out of their salary. You would think you were asking for a kidney. They hold on to all of the newest technolgy, for only god knows what reason, until it becomes one big computer doorstop. In the meantime, I'm stuck using the fucking computer equivalent of an abacus. The other day, I reported a problem with my system to one of the supervisor's who I will call Joe (not because I want to protect his identity, but because I've been calling him "fucking idiot" for so long I've forgotten his name). I told Joe that I was having some major system problems over the last few days (you know, the kind where you get the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH?) and needed another computer. He told me he had nothing available. I have a friend who works for him who suggested that I put in the request because there was a lot of new equipment sitting around collecting dust. This leads me to the deduction that Joe is the Anti-Christ because he's working on an anti-commission system (i.e. he obviously gets some sort of commission for every system he does not give out). This time, I got so disgusted, I went to his supervisor's supervisor and told her my problem. She said they could get me a new system that afternoon. I told her that Joe said that there was nothing available and she told me she wasn't sure why he said that. Just goes to show he's a fucking liar.

(2) The second type of anti-christ are the guys who actually show up to try to "resolve" the problems you call in to the "no-help" desk. I have changed operating envrironments three times in the last year. Is this really necessary? I don't know, but they are the "experts" and I am not stupid enough to question them ("Back to the fucking abacus for you, bitch!). Anyway, when they changed the first operating evironment, they told me the had to reimage my machine. They told me that the process would delete everything on my machine, so I had to save all of my data to a shared server. In the next breath, they told me that this has never been done sucessfully, because the date gets corrupted when you bring it back to your hard drive. This did not seem like a viable option, even to a computer asshole like me. I asked them if they had an external re-writable CD drive that they could hook up to my machine so I would be able to save the data onto CDs. They told me that they had one but it was against their policy to use it for this purpose. SO LET ME GET THIS RIGHT SHITHEADS, YOU HAVE A PIECE OF EQUIPMENT THAT YOU WERE AUTHORIZED TO FUCKING BUY, BUT YOU CANT USE IT BECAUSE OF WHAT????? You see, this is part of their satanic plan. Lose my data and corrupt my system so that I can start the whole fucking vicious circle over again and promise Joe my first born to get another fucking computer abacus. .


Saturday, September 06, 2003

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are the Anti-christ
dedicated to candyfloss...

Mary-Kate and Ashley are the Anti-christ. For a couple of reasons. First at age 17 they are way way richer than i will ever be. On top of that they have their own line of products sold at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart!!! thats fucking evil. They push their crappy products and ideas of how tween girls should be on the most insecure age bracket. Lets take little girls and make them whores before they even have a reason to dress slutty. Not to mention all the time spent on full house. That didn't help them get away from being labelled Anti-Christ material. They have been manufactured from early beginnings to be corporate whores for the next generation of greedy fat, soon to be anorexic girls. Lets all just sit back and wait for these girls to fuck up with the insider trading of their company and end up in jail. Or at least i'm hoping for that

Martha Stewart should be happy she's getting pretty cellmates...

Friday, September 05, 2003

Justin Timberlake

It seems that the weasel-looking King of Overdubbing has teamed up in an unnatural alliance with purveyors of lousy, greasy food, McDonalds. This can only be the work of the Devil. Bad Food and Bad Music - it's ungodly.

We've had to deal with Timberlake corrupting our children with his ridiculous dancing and whiny voice. Millions of young girls across America have fallen for him. This is a little stringbean with round shoulders who can't even grow a proper moustasche. Without evil powers, he would not even get a prostitute interested in him.

Now, he is trying to kill his zombified teenage followers with saturated fat from McDonalds. First, he destroys their minds. Then, he destroys their bodies.

Justin Timberlake is The Anti-Christ.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

I Ain't No Fortunate Son, No

Some dude in Nebraska thought that he found the Anti-Christ.

Dave Matthews Is Bad, But He's Not The Antichrist

Trench: I have a deep respect for you and your blog. But I have a feeling I might be a little older than you, and as such, I guess I’ve seen more evil than you can imagine.

I’ve been fighting evil for a long time: back in the dark times, the so-called “80’s…”

Yes, I'm talking about the Michael Jackson Wars.

I was there.

The forces of evil were strong back then: not just Michael Jackson himself, but Madonna, George Michael and Boy George. They just kept coming.

Perhaps you laugh when you hear those names today and jokes about molesting boys and bathroom stalls come to mind.

But back then, there was no greater danger.

I myself had a small band of fighters who were with me. We were a ragged group, dedicated to idea that music had to better than the shit playing on the radio.

I watched as my friends were whittled down in that horrible decade.

Some of them heard the siren song of S&M trash metal from LA. I last saw them wandering off into a haze of pot smoke (not that there’s anything wrong with that – wink, wink!). Guys who got girlfriends tried to convince us that Duran Duran was cool. The art guys were ambushed by the hideous Talking Heads, and computer nerds succumbed to Devo. And of course, the gay guys were picked off one by one in the Depeche Mode Assaults of 1986.

I watched a good friend torn to pieces right in front of my eyes. He was tempted by his girlfriend (a seductress who would soon dump his sorry ass). I’ll never forget his last words. “Huey Lewis isn’t so bad,” he said, as his eyes glazed over in a death trance.

It was just me and a few others. We were just the pimply kids who wouldn’t compromise and couldn’t get girlfriends. Our backs were against the wall.

We were that close to going out …forever.

But one man turned it around. He taught us to fight bad music, and smash their worthless vinyl albums into junk.

Hi name was… Paul Westerberg.

You probably never heard of him, Trench. He fronted a band called the Replacements. Paul Westerberg wasn’t some fag who went to a party drinking California Coolers, hoping to meet girls. He slugged back a fifth of bourbon, gave those assholes the finger and always managed to go home with the hottest chick at the party. And somehow, she was drunker than him.

The Replacements’ music (might I suggest “Sorry Ma, Forgot To Take Out The Trash”) was Nirvana without the happy lyrics and radio play. It was the distilled precursor to grunge – a sweaty, nasty sneer at the world.

Westerberg got me through the 80’s. He taught me how to survive the Michael Jackson Wars. He helped to see what good music is, so that I could also see what evil music is. (But he’s done nothing but crap since).

Dave Matthews is evil. There is no question about that. “Gravedigger,” which I heard on my XM today, is an especially bad song, filled with all the self-righteous bullshit that the fat, bald guy can muster. The posturing of this awful song is only interrupted when the “singer” inexplicably begins singing “Ring Around The Rosy,” that old childhood earworm, because the scumbag had forgotten the words to his song and was too stoned to think up new ones.

But Dave Matthews is not the Antichrist. He is only a tiny smelly fart in a big, furious thunderstorm.
University Bookstores are the anti-christ

Oh you better believe me when i say i just dropped $300 of my hardearned money on 2 text books. Yeah, thats an average of $150 a pop. It's quite clear here that the bookstore isn't worried about the wellbeing of their students. Rather more interested in making a goddam killing off these books. I can't completely blame the bookstores i have to be upset at the profs as well. Because in all reality there isn't much different between edition 4 and edition 5 of any given text book but each year the profs just have to have the most updated, most expensive text book. Not only does this mean that students pay more for a text book, it completely destroys the used text book market. No one will buy the old text books and therefore i can't sell them. Less money in the students pocket, the same pocket that was emptied from the university holding me upsidedown shaking me until my nose bled.

now if you don't mind a have to start reading these shiny new books. It's times like thess where people don't have to wonder where the shiteating grin on the faces of university deans comes from...
Paris Hilton Is The Anti-Christ

Social X-ray and Hotel Heir, Paris Hilton, is the Anti-Christ. Paris has never held a job and seems to have very little purpose in life other than going to parties and having her photo taken. Could an adult human do this? I think not.

Let's look at the parties. Parties = Booze =Drugs = Sex = Sin. Sin! How could she hold down a job? Serving Satan is obviously her full-time job.

Paris was recently reported having as having a Lesbian Spit-swap with former Madonna-galpal Ingrid Cesares. A Madonna link! Further proof.

Then there's Paris' willingness to take anything from anybody. Even her mother is disturbed: "I warned my girls that when you accept plane tickets and hotel accommodations, there is no such thing as a free lunch." Plane tickets and hotel accomodations? Who, in the real world, gets this stuff for free? Paris is obviously travelling by other means., Mrs. Hilton.

It's only a question of time before she's seen outside 666 Fifth Avenue.

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Dave Matthews is the Anti-Christ

I have been studying this "man" for a while now and I'll show you my evidence from my journals.

This was my first notation about Dave Mathews...

I've said it before and i'll say it again. Dave Matthews is the Anti-Christ. I just don't get it. His music sucks out loud. It's the most boring crap I've heard put on the radio since REM. What is the big attraction?

And now he's Dave Matthews enviromentalist. That's the 3rd "6" right there. Check out this article from CNN. The singer now has his own Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor. And the flavor has a goal. It's goal is to make people more aware of global warming. Nice piece of marketing there Dave. Make people think of global warming by EATING SOMETHING COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dumbass.Actually shouldn't you be hoping for more global warming then that would increase sales in your ice cream.

Global warming is a big myth anyway. It may feel like the world is getting warmer but its not. No matter how many unbearable summers I go through they rarely break the heat records that were set back in the late 1800's and early 1900's. Always on the news the weather guy says "but we still didn't break the record set back in 5 BC." or something like that. For more info go to Globalwarming.org

In conclusion Dave Matthews is satan. Its the only way to explain his mass appeal considering he has no talent and hugs trees.

I incurred the wrath of his many minions..

Your a stupid bastard.
you can lick dave matthews sweaty balls mother fucker
Your a waste of good oxygen you trench coat wearin' mother fucker! Your a narrow minded piece of shit.
Are you fucking crazy??
Fuck you who don't like him you ignorant bastards.

Only aspersions like that could truly come from the mouth of hell.

But this is the most damning evidence of all.

Lightning Strike Injures 8 At Dave Matthews Band Concert:

It just proves that even God hates Dave Matthews.

Forgive me if I'm being redundant, but did I hear someone say Martha Stewart? I'd pay good money to see her ROASTING ON A SPIT IN HELL! (You think we could get her to don a black wetsuit and swim with the sharks?)

Blog Fright

A new blog. I just can't make myself write...

Dave Matthews is not really the anti-christ, though he could qualify for the time being as one of Satan's minions. In a few years, he'll just be some kind of pitiful thing, like Hootie. Johnny Depp, however, in my opinion, is making great strides....
Cindy Adams

Look at her photo, can't you see horns coming out of her head? And, she's into gossip - The Devil's Radio! And, she writes about Macauley Culkin - could anything be more evil?

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Who Is The Anti-Christ? What Are The Signs?

Is it Britney Spears? Is it The Olsen Twins? Is it Ted Kennedy? This blog is dedicated to open debate on the topic peppered with vulgarity, profanity and ridiculousness.